Hakuna-MaTATA!
by BleachedMerc
Summary: What happens when Timon & Pumbaa take their no worries thing a little TOO far?


"Forceps!"

"Forceps!"

"Sponge!"

"Sponge!"

"... Pumbaa.. this is a crumpled up burger wrapper from McDonald!" Timon hopped down from the milk crate that was allowing him to reach the table. He pulled off his medical mask before snapping off his rubber gloves.

"Sorry." Pumbaa broke wind as he oinked.

"And I'm still waiting on those forceps!"

"I'm sorry, Timon... I don't think I'm cut out to be a male nurse..." He oinked. "No hands." Pumbaa held up his hooves for emphasis.

"Nonsense. You just need a little training is all."

"I dunno, Timon..." Pumbaa snorted nervously. "I think us working in the trauma center is a BAAA~AAD idea..."

"Oh pish posh." Timon waved his hand in the air dismissively as he strutted down the corridor and ducked between the legs of a proper doctor. "If Jaq can hold down that puppet gig, what's to stop you and me from becoming medical doctors?"

Pumbaa broke wind in agreement and one female nurse screamed and fainted as he walked by, while another collapsed from the smell.

"All we need is the right opportunity, my friend." Timon continued to act and walk like he was tough stuff while Pumbaa hurried along behind. "Something to really put us on the map!"

"Like Spain?" Pumbaa offered up.

"Yes. Like Spain." Timon stopped and started tapping his foot. "But what?"

News footage began to play overhead of some sort of aircraft having crashed into a parking lot nearby.

"That's it, Pumbaa! That's just the crisis we need!"

Pumbaa looked up at the TV footage. "The accident?" He questioned.

"Wha? What accident?" Timon looked up at the TV. "No, you knucklehead. That!"

The little meerkat pointed to the Greek God across the hall waiting in the waiting room.

"This is going to take a long time?" Hades asked, standing on one leg while turning his hip to one side, to show Panic whose horns were sticking out of his butt. "Because there are dead guys. A LOT of dead guys.. and if I don't get back..."

He winced.

"There's going to be a LOT of hell to pay."

"I'm sorry, sir." One large-nosed nurse with thick spectacles looked down at her chart. "All are doctors are currently out golfing.. or on holiday... or sick.. or busy.. or dead."

"Okay okay okay!" Hades waved his hands around. "Could you, I dunno, find some nurses. Maybe a couple of kids playing doctor. SOMETHING to pull this IDIOT off my BUTT!"

Hades' hair ignited into an orange flame before he composed himself.

"...and something to scrape this... thing.. off my foot."

He held up one leg and revealed the squashed former cricket journalist now caked upon his smoky robe.

Timon and Hades locked eyes at the same time.

"Bingo." They said in unison.

"You know what? Nevermind." Hades said, stroking back his hair. "And you can expect a visit from MY people soon, sweet toots."

"Hiya!" The Greek God of the Underworld greeted Timon.

"Hi yourself." Timon leaned against a discarded lemon that was approximately his height and just so happened to be next to him on the floor.

"Uh.. Timon..." Pumbaa started to caution his pal.

"You're.. studying to be a doctor I take it?" Hades inquired. Noticing Timon's scrubs.

The little meerkat nodded.

Hades harkened an ear as a far off scream could be heard in the distance. "I hear this place has a vacancy. Turns out playing golf isn't a good idea after indulging in too much fried food."

"Uh... sir?" Panic started to talk from behind his master.

"Shut up!" Hades hissed.

15 minutes later...

Panic was removed. Hades went back his jolly self. But things got awkward when Pumbaa licked Jiminy Cricket off the Greek God of the Underworld's foot.

Not swinging that way, Hades struck down Pumbaa dead and Timon was hired on as the hospital's next trauma doctor.

Pumbaa's half brother Pence was the only one to show up at the warthog's funeral and he was so enraged over the lost of his brother in oinks that the wild man-bear-pig from Final Fantasy Tactics took off at a crazy gallop that makes for a riveting film.

It'll probably be directed by A. Bucket.

Roo was out golfing when his caddy dropped dead from a brain aneurism caused from eating too much fried food from Wendy's. Not the restaurant, but the house of the little girl from Peter Pan's.. she's a terrible cook. Peter can stomach it, but it gives him dandruff.

Roo then packed up his clubs, one of which being a Pooh Stick and returned it to the Fellowship of the Pooh.

The End.


End file.
